Dear Diary,
Can we be real for a second? I think I lost my freaking mind when I decided having 2 babies 13 months apart was a good idea.
Seriously, don't take this the wrong way. I love my boys more than anything and everything in this whole entire world. But man, they sure do give me a run for my money. And some days, I swear I'm actually going to go insane. Maybe I'm being just a little dramatic. But what I really DO feel some days is that I have forgotten who I am, in a sense. My life has been consumed by sleepless nights, diaper blow outs, toddler tantrums, endless nursing sessions, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and tears. Ohhhh the tears. If you were to combine all the tears that my kids and I shed together some days, you may have a solution to the drought here in Southern Arizona. Yeah, we have days like that. Days where I question who I have become. Am I seriously that stay at home mom who smells like a dirty diaper, walks around with boogers in her hair, and finds cheerios in her bra all day long because I hardly manage to shower before my husband gets home from work? Yes, most days I am. But, what I've very recently discovered was that there's actually so much more to this whole stay at home mom thing then walking around smelling like baby poop. I'm pretty sure this journal entry is supposed to be witty and entertaining... but I'm more of the sentimental type. So, let me cut to the chase and say, being the mother of these two bright, loving, beautiful boys is hands down the absolute most rewarding thing I have ever done and ever will do. No college degree, career, volunteer oppertunity, or any other accomplishment in my lifetime will ever compare to the joys of being their mother. These moments I share with my babies everyday will be locked away in my memory and cherished forever. The good, the bad, the ugly (and the stinky) times with these two little boys will be mine to remember for the rest of my days. it doesn't matter how much the day sucked, it was time well spent with them. And to them, that time truly matters. I try to tell myself that when the going gets tough. Instead of dwelling on all the things I'm not accomplishing as I sit here in my baby's vomit with greasy hair and unbrushed teeth, I focus on the things I AM accomplishing. Like, you know... being a good mom. A mom who pours all her love, energy, sweat, and tears into her babies. (Literally, it's a workout) I'm 22 years old and have accomplished more in the last two years of my life than I ever have before, or ever will. I (with the help of my dear husband, of course) created two little humans. My little humans. I carried them, I birthed them, I nurse them, I care for them, I play with them, I cry for them, I love them. That's freaking impressive, I don't care what anyone says... it's hard work. I'm proud of myself. And though I may not give myself the credit I probably deserve most days, at the end of the day as I kiss my babies goodnight, I do know my job is the most important job on the face of this planet. So rock on, all you fellow stay at home mamas. I feel for you on every single level. You all kick major tail, every damn day.
Honestly, Mommy
**a little about Kelsey**
Kelsey Latchaw, 22 year old SAHM to two very sweet little boys. JoeJoe who is the strong-willed, loud, yet loving 17 month old. And Benjamin, the 3 month old who has major FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), but makes up for it with his smiles and snuggles. Strives to make a difference in her children's lives every day and make the most out of these years. Dreams of becoming a special education teacher one day and make a difference in the lives of children who deserve it the most.
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