January 9, 2016
Dear Diary,
Another glorious morning…makes me sick!” Seriously, my mantra of the morning. Having to wake up before the ass crack of dawn is getting really fucking old. We need a new vehicle. W2’s hurry your ass up. Not to mention my head has been killing me since last night. I thought sleep was supposed to help that? Apparently not because all day I have felt like I have an elephant inside of my head slowly crushing every inch of my brain. After we dropped Garrett off the kids and I came home and I cocooned myself in my heated blanket and vowed to not emerge for the rest of the day. Then it hit me: I’m a mom. There is no break, there is no peace, there is no crawling into a dark place and sleeping off the major migraine. In fact, after letting me doze in and out of consciousness for a good 45 minutes, the trio decided it would be a great idea to throw me a concert. With every noisy ass toy we own; right next to my head. What.the.fuck?! Luckily my kids can be pacified with food. Making them a snack bought me 15 minutes of silence..well at least the closest thing to silence I could get. Then, the unthinkable happened. BOTH boys went down for a nap. B.O.T.H boys. Chubba hasn’t napped since we left Tucson, it was a fucking miracle, and just to prove the napping God’s were shining down on me singing ‘Hallelujah!’ the boys slept for three and a half hours. OVER.THREE.HOURS. I’m almost scared to say it out loud, for fear that it may be a dream. Princess on the other hand. She puts the fucking Energizer Bunny to shame. People always joke that children siphon their energy from their parents, but with this child I seriously think it’s true. I love her to death, but some days (especially days like today), she is like that overly preppy girl in the movies (like Patty Simcox from Grease) that you just want to punch in the face. I couldn’t do it. I guess my saving grace was that I was in so much damn pain that I didn’t have the energy to lose my shit on her. So, that made two good things for the day: nap for the boys, and I actually held my composure and didn’t lose my shit. When Chubba and the Boob Monster finally woke up, Chubbs still wasn’t feeling well. Poor kid has been sick for the last few days. So when he wanted to cuddle I was all over it, especially since it meant I didn’t have to leave my beloved spot on the couch that I had pretty much melted into.
After an hour or so of cuddling I realized I had totally failed at life today, and didn’t accomplish any sort of house work. Sometimes, being anal retentive about how my house looks gets really fucking old. Can I just take one fucking day and be a lazy sack of shit?! Nope. After unloading the dishwasher and washing the few dishes in the sink, I realized I had only fed Princess lunch today. Fuck, mommy fail. Looking at the clock on the stove I realized it was already 3:30, too late to feed the boys lunch. Food: SHIT, I didn’t plan anything for dinner either. Parenting Level: fucking awful. Thankfully I had ground beef that I needed to cook, but what to make with it? I didn’t want to spend any significant amount of time in the kitchen cooking. Tater tot casserole. Sold! I even made a healthy version of it, because, again, I’m so fucking neurotic sometimes I can’t just make a meal full of chemicals for my kids. Organic it was (well, mostly. **Note to self, find organic tater tots). Dinner made and cleaned up, magic popcorn made, and the older two kids in bed; I saw freedom. Made myself a hot tottie and curled back into my spot on the couch with the Boob Monster and tried to get him to sleep. Fifteen minutes. That’s all it took for Boob Monster to decide he was exhausted but didn’t want to sleep. WHY!? I.WANT.TO.BE.ALONE. GO THE FUCK TO SLEEEEEEP KID! So now, here I sit, boob in Boob Monsters mouth, yet again- for the 10th time in an hour, trying-begging-pleading-bribing, to get him to go to sleep. I tell myself he is only nursing so much because he is teething, and it won’t last forever. I wanted him to make it a year, and we’ve gone past that. But, damn, I just want to be left alone for a bit. I need time to decompress. But that doesn’t seem like it will happen today. So here I sit bitching to you, diary, crying on the inside from being touched out, and mentally fist pumping the fact that Chubba took a long nap, and the fact that all three kids survived today. Maybe tomorrow my Parenting Level will be raised to amateur. Here’s to hoping.
Honestly, Mommy
**a little about Olivia**
I am a mom to three: Princess: age 4, Chubba: age 2, and Boob Monster: age 1 (yes, they are nicknames: no, I am not one of 'those people' who give my kids weird ass names). As of now I am a stay at home mom, however, I just finished my Bachelors Degree- so I suppose I need to join the adult world and find a job soon. I love crafting: using my silhouette, sewing, embroidery, etc. Which mainly consists of me cursing out my machines for not being able to figure out exactly what I am doing. Reading is another hobby, it allows me to escape. I am neurotic about cleaning and my house being clean, it sucks. My family has recently moved to Montana, for my husband's job, which takes him away for four days at a time. Upside to this: my alcohol tolerance is becoming a champ! Even though I like seeing how my liver can withstand different concoctions, I like to hook mostly healthy. Non-processed foods, organic, and as natural as I can find it...unless it's chocolate, then I don't care, I'll eat Hershey's all day!
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